Pinky-promise that is definitely not pinky.

Assalamualaikum..

piles of unfolded laundries

Welcome to my room!

 This pic was taken last Wednesday where i spent almost 3hours folding my 2-weeks-laundries and tidying up my closet. I was supposed to blog my wed-deepavali-hol before weekend approach. Unfortunately,my workload is as many as the piles of my laundries! There you go... so lets just forget and look forward. 

 I am sitting here in front of the TV in the middle of the living room, all alone and almost die of boredom, not knowing what to do.  Again, things planned are not running as it suppose to. Yesterday, my friend and i planned to go to office today to finish up some pending works to meet our KPI. yeahh.. i know it sounds lamee... me myself not really into this KPI thing coz i know, no matter how determine i am to close my KPI i will be in bottom list and the possibility of getting M3 is very high for me!. in case you do not know, that's how PETRONAS working environment. The freshies are always a good victim for the M3 quota in the dept. Okeh, back to topic, i woke up early and get myself ready for our first-ever morning breakfast with abang. IMPRESSED! :) he managed to pick me up at 7.30 am.. that's the earliest time I've ever met him in history. ngeee... Abang actually suggested us to watch movie this noon but due to promise made earlier with my friend, i rejected the idea. Unfortunatelyyy... janji tinggal janji.. i fell asleep. and she entered my room, all dressed up and ready to go, and say " aku tak jadi pegi ofis, ak nk buat keje kat luar, jauh sikit la, tempat yg ada internet laju, nak ikut tak?? " what should i answer??? should i say " yes, i do want to join you but you need to wait for to get myself ready" or "no thanks, its ok" .. instead, i asked

 "where to?" 

"The curve" she replied.

uh humm.. there you go, i know that she's going out with her bf. Else, she ain't go there all alone on this wonderful-sunny day morning . So i shook my head and said,

"Nah. Its ok..just go" 

Disappointed with her. But what should i say? I am just trying to keep my promise but obviously people seldom do the same to me. 

I always try to make others happy, but they are actually definitely did not even think of me.

 I always try to satisfy my friend, even if i had to do something I don't want to, i'll just keep it to myself and say, "OK, we'll do it" "OK, I'll go with u" "OK, count me in"

Do i deserve to be treated this way?? hurmm.. i think its time to be fair to myself. Will do something on my own preferences, stick to my own plan and learn to say "NO". 

Friends are worth to be kept only if they know how to appreciate you! 

me all alone

Nothing but Works

Assalamualaikum..

Pending items (work):
1) salary tier adjusment
2) tca for pcsb and pmd
3) cost estimator & gpm way forward
4) level 2&3 progression
5) gpc wayforward: concluded and to communicate officially.

the happy me during last raya

adoi... quite a headache jugak la memikirkan pasal kerja ni.. nevermind its ok.. its alright.. i'll be just fine. :)

Staff-less Tuesday

Assalamualaikum..

Purple

Hari ini kita mulakan dengan senyuman di pagi hari. Alhamdulillah, today not as gloomy as yesterday. Feel somehow energetic and content. Syukur pada Mu ya Allah.

When i read my post yesterday, i feel like... "WHAT!! DID I WRITE THAT??" sorry peeps, i know..i know.. its way too long and bowwring. It's just that I was being carried away by my style of writing back in second n primary school whereby any single activities in every single ticking time is written.

Okaeyh.. more picturesss right? i know u want that... :)

As the title read: Staffless Tues... today, the population in my office is just 20%. People are taking leaves, having engagement session (which requires the big boss to attend (i love this part!!)) and some are running business as usual: meeting/workshop. And today.. (ONLY TODAY YA) I can hear the voices of the project people back there. loud and clear  which normally I could even hardly hear during our normal working days.

After 10 months of hell working in PETRONAS, introducing you my less-messy-coz-i've-spring-cleaned-my-desk-last-sat workstation!!

The red book- to keep me organize, the doa-to keep me calm throughout the days, the keychain-to remind me to have my own vacation one day, the phone- to keep me awake during the boring hours of the day

I've actually took few more pix but couldn't be uploaded. later la i'll share in future post(s). 

Owh.. a lil tazkirah for myself:

Firman Allah swt:
Dan boleh jadi kamu benci kepada sesuatu padahal ia baik pada kamu,
Dan boleh jadi kamu suka kepada sesuatu halpadahal ia buruk bagi kamu
Dan ingatlah, Allah jualah yang mengetahui (semuanya itu) sedang kamu tidak mengetahuinya
(Al-Bagarah, 216)

Kerana boleh jadi kamu bencikan sesutu, sedang Allah hendak menjadikan pada apa yang kamu benci itu kebaikan yang banyak (untuk kamu)
(An-Nisaa' 19)

Kamu tidak mengetahui barangkali Allah mengadakan sesuatuitu sesuatu hal yang baru
(Ath-Thalaaq 1)

taqaballahu minna wa minkum
(May Allah accept it from us and you)

abang

Abang or by his name is Ady, has already been my other half for 2 and half years.  I dont know what to blog, let the picture do the talking. 

Dinner with him :)

My other half :)

ramadhan with him :)

Abang, I love you.

The Monday Blues

Assalamualaikum..

Hari ini, aku sangat lah tak ada mood. :(
Kenapa ya? mari buat sedikit analisa d pagi hari:

1) Mungkin baru sahaja selesai meeting penting hari Jumaat lepas.
2) Mungkin juga kerana pertambahan kerja yang suda sedia maklum bertimbun selepas meeting itu
3) atau mungkin kerana tiada benda urgent ataupun penting yang harus disudahkan.. (okeh, ini tipu k.)
4) boleh juga kerana regret akan pembaziran 2 hari cuti yang diambil sebelum ini atas sebab saja2. yang mana kalau dimanfaatkan untuk hari ini dan esok, sudah pasti aku boleh bercuti panjang dek public holiday deepavali yang jatuh di tengah minggu.
5) ermm.. ermm.. okeh.. itu sahaja reasoning yang mampu aku fikirkan buat masa ini..


sekian lama tidak menupdate blog, banyak cerita yang berlaku seminggu dua ni. Tapi, minggu lepas memang minggu yang busy dan memang sepenuhnya dimanfaatkan untuk kerja. alhamdulillah.

owh.. ya.. atau mungkin juga untuk reason yang ke-5 disebabkan hujung minggu yang.. erm, how to put it in words ya?  yang.. yangg... agak 'bermanfaat' ? haha... cakap pasal weekend.. mari ingat balik apa aktiviti hujung minggu haritu.

Jumaat

Seawal pukul 5 sudah blah dari ofis. Lepak dengan ex-dhi Redu. My goodness.. he is soo girl-ish - with his loose-curled-hair, tote bag, baggy 3/4 skinny pants. Owh.. for record, we hang out with one of his girly friend too k, Mori.  Lepak makan2 and then went for a movie: Sumpaham Puaka.Bak kata Mori, Memang Puaka laah movie tu..tak best langsung. After the movie we straight went home. Hujan lebat masa tu. Ingatkan nak singgah pasar malam kejap sebab nak beli skirt lagi, tapi dah lewat sangat kot diorg pun dah tutup. So i headed straight home. 

Sesampainya aku d rumah, my housemate mintak tolong battery flat.Kebetulan, memang plan untuk keluar dengan abang lepas tu. So, we waited for abang and after selesai jump her car, keluar for dinner dengan abang.  Cari2 tempat sampai ke wangsa maju dah, alih2 beralih ke keramat.. sorry abang. Cerewet sikit malam tu. We went to the one we had never been tried before.  The food is not bad. Very the variety oneeeee! ada kambing, kerang, ikan bakar, siap ada lidah bakar lagi..yuckkss .  They are serving purely Thai-Siamese delicacies. this is not lie the typical restaurant tau. They have bubur berlauk, pulut mangga, somtam, and satay2. Kesimpulannya memnag lengkap lah kedai ni. Boleh buat kedai feveret ! ngehehe

Okeh... sebenarnya.. cerita di atas ialah cerita pada hari khamis malam jumaat ya! been wondering, when is my 2nd visit to the restaurant then.. haha okeh okeh itu pada hari khamis ya kanak-kanak.... 

Now, after jump start kereta aina, cari-cari kedai makan, pegi gak ke kedai seperti yang telah dinyatakan di atas ya. Ni second time. makan punya makan, ada lah pulak cerita hantu: the Haunted Changi Hospital. Aku ngan abang buat macam rumah sendiri ya. Duduk kat ctu selamba badak je sambil tengok cerita tu. Mau beberapa jam jugak laaaa... nasib baik lah time tu dah pukul 1 and the story pun became even scarier, so i decided to ajak abang balik atas alasan: mengantuk.. padahal.. takut! haha.. masuk dalam kereta, elok pulak la sebelum tu parked betul2 menghadap kedai tu, sambung pulak tengok dalam kereta! tak boleh blahhh.. haha.. but it lasted for like 15mins ja. then abang hantar balik. there goes my friday night. 

Sabtu 

9.30 am: bangun awal, tup2 dell and intan dah melepak depan tv. Dell siap goreng kopok lekor lagi. Bila budak2 bujang berkumpul di hari sabtu, memang bermalas-malasan lah semua. Pasang CD, tengok cerita Beastly. 

Dalam pukul 2 pegi ofis dengan intan sampailah pukul 7.30. Lepas tu, bermula lah plan anak dara d malam minggu. hehe.. we started off with makan2 di desa pandan. Tetba time makan tu rindu lah pulak dengan abang coz we ususally go for dinner there. :( Then, cadang nya nak pegi ke tesco ampang, tapi disebabkan aku tersalah bagi direction  kami sampai ntah di mana (still ampang area lagi la). Nak dijadikan cerita, adalah pulak fun-fair kat tepi jalan ni. Aku dengan eksaitednya ajak intan masuk and main. Kami pun main lah UFO tu. i tell you... aku jerit lagi kuat dari budak duduk belakang kitorg! Bak kata intan, "Lina memang tak lepas la pegi main kat genting and times square" haha

Lepas main tu, kami pun pergi lah ke tesco.. cari2 barang kejap. Then balik rumah dah pukul 12.30 am dah. Elok pulak time d desa pandan tu pegi menggatal beli CD. DAh tak jadi plan mid-nite movie, tengok movie kat rumah la pulak. Tengok cerita Bini-Bbiniku Gangster. Sweeettt tauuu....terus rindu kat abang.. 

That nite i fell asleep missing my other half.

Ahad

Bangun pukul 10 pagi. Terus pegi goreng kopok lekor and duduk depan tv. layan intan tgk cerita semalam sebab dia tertidur. Elok pulak lepas tengok tu, pegi pasang lagi cerita Bad Teacher. tak habis tengok pun.

Pkol 12pm: keluar dengan abang. i dont know why I've been missing abang lately. (macam lah lama tak jumpa) He's become thinner.. maybe because of the pressure and problems he's having now. kesian abang, i wish i could helpp you more dear.  Keluar ngan abang pegi wangsa walk, lunch at secret recipe, then watched movie, paranormal activity 3. and i've jsut realized abang pun penakut jugak rupanya. Oppss.. hehe he's so cute when every time he got shocked time the terkejut2 part. hehe 

After that, we headed to McD desa pandan to watch WRC Final. All blacks vs. France. And my rugby knowledge become more and more gained. hehe. Habis tengok dalam pukul 6 lebih then we went for asar and terus pegi masjid keramat for maghrib. Lepas tu dinner jap dekat kedai kelantan depan tu and balik sebab mama abang dah called and bising dah abang kena buat sumting tapi tak balik2 lagi.

dah sampai rumah, layan masterchef and terus tdur.. :) there goes my weekend.

Hmm.. i actually have made mistake sebelum ni. Please dont tweet when you are mad and extremely angry with your other half. i've made one mistake before. Tweeeting about how angry i was towards his family is somehow not a good manner to show.  I am truly sorry abang. I might be angry and not in the same boat as your family but still who am i to talk about your family.

There's a thing that you need to know which i've already told you earlier, I am not so comfortable with your mom & sister. Maybe because your mom always call you while you are with me, asking you to buy things, asking you to come home, asking you watever it is! Maybe she feels that i've kikis-ed your duit, dah tau abang tak ada duit still bawak abang keluar jalan, makan amik from office. The truth is, I do understand your situation! sebab tu syg buat few things (shouldnt be mentioned here) to cover what i've requested you to do for me.

and your sister, i feel so terribly uncomfortable with her until i feel like if we were married i dont want her to be with us! to that extend. Maybe because aku dah tengok perangai dia masa selalu duduk kat rumah abang dulu. She hurts my feeling a lot! she did not respect me, and she is such a spoil teenage brat. Tak boleh nak angkat beg sendiri, tak boleh nak tolong kemas2, tak boleh nak pegang payung sendri. I am sorry abang, she's big enough to do so, even if she had those decease which your family been spoiling her for that reason, she is big enough to RESPECT me! RESPECT! besides, her princess-like behavior really annoys me! Looking at how she's been spoiled by both your parents, making me afraid and reject her. i build my own walls between us coz if i did not do so, she will continuously bullying and disrespecting me as she always do. It is not that i am jealous with her coz she has a car, new laptop, owning a smartphone at a very young age, it's just that, she has to learn to live in difficulties! In the future, if your parents were gone, she'll  definitely falls under our responsibility. By now, she should have learn how to live moderately and learn to do thing by herself. 

haish.. membebel panjang lah pulak kan. Ok lah.. mahu pergi makan.. Lapar.

Bekal untuk hari ini

 

 

 

My 3-days Happiness

Was crying badly last night knowing that my cousins and family are going back to Sabah today. huhu..At first, i did not feel it that way earlier but when in the cab on my way back home, i suddenly crying and couldn't even talk to abang sahi.

maybe because i was so attached with them while their stay hre in kl. Feels like yesterday when i fetched them at the airport with abang. Had so much fun yesterday with abang sahi and family. habis satu kL kami tapauu..

kakak-the baby-hafidz

started at 9.00: went to klcc..waited for them for like 2 hours, then makan2.. and then belanja they all to petrosains. they were so happy and exicted as well. alhamdulilllah.. then, pegi times square naik monorail.. turun kat dang wangi station, went to monorail bukit nenas. turun kat imbi station  and walked further to times square and low yatt plaza. pastu makan2,, and took monorail back to kl sentral.. took putra to masjid jamek and waited for star to bandaraya. had some shopping with kakak at sogo.

then we had makan2 at ampang jaya. belakang ampang point and then head back to my house. and that is the end of my 3 days happiness. all in all i am so satisfy and happy for them.

Now, back to normal life again. sigh.. feel so lonely here.

Currently missing my other half, abang. it's been 2 days since our last met. Miss every single thing bout him. although sometimes i do know that i'm a bit hard to handle but abang is so patient and he is "handling me with care"..

abang.. i miss you.. *hugss*

Sunday

Of all pix taken by my bb, the one above is the most-love-pix.. that was not taken on sunday though. but I do hope the cheerful colour of the berries can cheer me up on this gloomy Sunday.  

What a day

Early morning today:

had a conversation with a friend  on my cousin's arrival this coming sunday. Unfortunately things were not went well enough and she actually feel uncomfortable. And with that, she's planning not to stay in the house during my cousin's stay in kL. I felt terribly sad and down ,y laa. ya laaa nak berkira sangat.
Alasan: lain lah klu mak ayah, boleh gak sembang2.. ni abang sepupu ko..

OKEH!! FINE... abg sepupu aku.. ko cuba pk ek.. mak ayah aku bila nk datang cni ha?? korang2 ni semua dok atas tanah semenanjung.. at least satu malaya la jugak kann.. mak ayah aku??? bila diorg nk datang.. ni pun my cousin kebetulan ada benda nk buat klu tak takda makanya diorang nk datang cni..

sedihhh sangat tau tak sebab.. ak actually more to MINTAK TOLONG  laa bg diorg stay kat uma sebab memnadangkan ak jauh.. family takde sorg pun kat cni..diorg pun bukan nya org senang sgt.. lagi pulak ada baby.. BABY ko phm tak!!  ko tunggu je laa.. dunia ni ibarat roda..ko tunggu je bila ko duk jauh, and the same exact things happen to you.. you'll feel what i feel!! klu nk mintak tolong bukan main.. klu nk pegi mana2 bukan main cari aku. klu ade nk buat plan ikut suka dia bukan main nk ajak ak p sana cni.. eh heloo. ak dah tolong ko byk dah k.. kira aku  xde la kecah sangat nk hidup ngan plan aku sendiri. at least ak luangkan masa jugak la ngan ko dari ak neglect ko and spend time with my other half sentiasa baru ko tau!!

Sampai Ofis:

Terus bukak laptop.. bukan nk cek e-mail dulu.. terus cari hotel.. meeting petang tak setel lagik.. byk benda tak setel lagik.. but sebab ak marah, ak tak pk dah pun..lepas dapat hotel baru la lega..meeting pagi smpi pkol 12tgh hr plak tu.. nasib baik la dalam miting tu ak bawak laptop and buat2 muka bz.. padahal bz book hotel bukan buat keje.. ish..ish...


lepas Meeting:

ak rasa the only thing yg buat ak tersenyum di hari jumaat yg mulia ni was after the meeting.. lepas meeting tu ak dapat fon call from some one from PGB.. he was actually asking on how releaseable i am to move back to technical line.. the conversation was:

En. Amiruddin:
 I received your CV from Hj. Rahman, i was informed that u've registered your itterest to work back home. and looking at your capability and background in offshore and oceanography..we are actually more than please to welcome you in.

me:
for what position is it? and how soon you'd like me to be tranfered there?

En. Amiruddin:
the position for you is project Engineer, how soon?? (gelak2).. it'll be veeeryy sooonnn... you confirm on your releaseble status first, then the rest just leave it to me..

me:
base dekat mana ye?

En. Amiriddin:
You'll be still based in kLCC but with project attachement to Regasification plant in Lahad Datu, i think, you'll be able to go back home starting end of this year up to for like 3-4 years since the plant is expected to complete up to 2015..haa. ni peluang balik kampung punya lahh... (gelak2). but you confirm with your boss first coz we reallyyyy need local engineers to ease the work.


okeh.. the salient point sampai tu je lah.. the rest sembang2 pasal lahad datu.. adeh.. alhamdulillahh.. ya Allah permudahkanlah proses perpindahanku ini.. mudah-mudahan diberikan kekuatan untuk bincang hal ni dengan en. wan on monday morning. and... mudah-mudahan en. wan lembut hati untuk release aku ke Petronas Gas Berhad buat Regasification project plant in Lahad Datu worth $$2billiion.. amiiinn.. ya Alahh. Aminnnnnnn...



Lunch time:

tak turun lunch pun.. sesi meluahkan perasaan ngan aina my best mate sepanjang keje  in kl..pastu dekat pkol 2 tu dah kalut2 prepare meeting pkol 3.. huhu.. dengan pn. Zaiton yo! hehe


3-6pm:
meetingZZZZZZ,, adeh.. agak disaster gak laa.. kucar kacir. haru biru.. habis dengan DRP2 aku pening kepala ngan meeting yg tak teratur.. hoho. but its ok its alrightt....   alhamdulillah.. ramai yg paham and baik hati...

6-8pm
balik ois baru sedar byk giler benda tggl hari ni.. dah meetign whole dayy.. mmg ade item yg pending gak la.. aduhh.. setel2 kan sket.. tp keadaan opis agak menensionkan jugak laa.. sebabbbbb.. org dok renovate cubicle tuk projek Duyong tuu... so..mmg ramai giler la lelaki2 buat keje kat ctu.. mana dengan bising nye.. dengan bunyi machine diorg lagik.. mmg tension lahhh... buat keje pun marah2..

9-11pm
 finally dapat jumpa my abang.. makan2 jap.. then stret went for our muvi.. makan tak best sangat wlupun food sedap.. but the situation tak best for me .. y? sebab we were rushing.. WE? ermm. i guess I was the only one who rushed to death time makan tadi. abg rilek je makan.. tgk muvi.. ngantuk sket.. penat kot. letih keje tadi... but stil manage to watch the movie till end.
RATING: hurmmm.. 3/5 kot.. tak best sangat.. mcm tgk katun.. so illogical...


11pm
marah2 kat dalam kete.. adehhh.. abang kenapaa la time2 ni nk cari pasal.. ntah abang ke aku yg cari pasal.. ntah la.. abang ckp nk cari hotel samae2 mase dlm fon alih2, dia TOLONG search kan je dlm tenet. AKU PUN BOLEH MCM TU! moody sangat hari ni.. not a good start la.. i've started my day with anger.. huhuh... marah2.. manalah aku tau abang nk rushing! abang tak bgtau kat aku pun dia nk pegi uma duen.. langsung! tetba je mak dia call tya kenapa lambat lah ape lah...rupanya nk pegi uma adik dia.. menyirap gak la.. ntah la ak nk kawin ke tak ngan abang mcm ni? aku rasa tak dapat terima lagi family abang lagi kot. aku tak tau lah kalau dah kawin nnt mcm mn..

tgk ni eh.. abg 3 beradik je.. abg sulung, duen dah kawin, adik dia manja spoilt giler bingsu ppuan.. pastu papa abang mcm jarang je spent time ngan famili.. sebab ape tau ak ckp mcm tu.. klu ade pape: abang jugak yg kene cari. nk beli pampers, nk beli sayur, nk beli bedak? abang.. nk bawak pegi berubat? abang.. nk bawak pegi uma duen? abang.. nk pegi hantar adik dia? abang.. semua pun abang... macam mana ak nk kawin ngan abang?? ayah abang mana??? adik abang mana??? kenapa mesti abang?? eh esok lusaa.. ak kawin, mesti ak kene drag punye sekali lahhh.. sebab, pape pun abang kene taat kat mak dia.. aku yg setakat wife ni ntah jatuh ke tangga ke 3 je klu dah kawin nnt.. family mcm tu ke ak nk duduk nnt klu dah kawin?????????????? tepuk dada tya selera..


harap2 ak cepat dapat pindah sabah.. lupakan family .. family? so-called family abang kat cni.. then balik sabah start over my life back.. will try to find my true happiness there. and search for a better future-family-in-laws kot..mmg ak sayang kat abang.. but bila tgk keadaan family abang yg macam tu... (not talking bout their physical but their dependable level to abang yg tahap melampau tu) tak heran nnt klu kawin, still abang yg kena beli pampers, kene beli bedak kene beli sayur..ts more to his family la skrg ni actually. abang? there's nothing wrong with him,..

apa ko rasa klu ko kluar dating mak dia asyik2 call tya? "kat mana" asyik mesej tya"brg dah beli ke blum" ape ko rasa??????? ni baru couple belum kawen ye..

so... maybe i can marry abang.. but sorry to say.. not his family..

ya Allah ya Tuhanku.. temukanlah aku dengan jodoh ku.. jadikan lah keluarga ku terdiri daripada org yg baik2.jauhkan lah hatiku dari mereka2 yang sudah ko tentukan bukan milikku.. amiin..

wassalam.

marah

apakah perasaan anda klu read msage dibiarkan tak breply ? and the culprit is the one you loved?? pissed off

as of 4. 26pm

Salam,

baru tadi received e-mail from Hj. Khairiri, one of my TP kat Carigali,

"ﻪﺘﺎﻜﺮﺒﻮ ﷲﺍﺔﻤﺤﺭﻮ ﻡﻜﻴﻠﻋ ﻢﻼﺴﻠﺍ

Hello,

May you be in the best of health and an ever increasing pursuit to increase your Iman.

Boss, apa khabar? Since dah sibuk nie, lama tak dengar cete. Hopefully tak terlambat to say ‘Tahniah’ and ‘Congratulation’ on your new appoinment, hopefully this new appoinment will bring you nearer to Al Mighty. <--- these part tak penting k cause its not meant for me

Attached is our SKG planner who is desperately looking for an oppurtunity to work back home and I knew you are looking some somebody with that capacity and capability. Maybe we can work something here.

Your cooperation and assistance is highly appreciated."

hmm.. i m not sure what should i feel for this.. but the most important thing is there is at least  someone who really wants to help me. Thank you Allah. 

baru tadi En. Y from PMD requested to have a separate TCA session which was earlier scheduled to next coming Tuesday. adoiiiiiiiiiii.. aku tak tau la en. Y ni saje ke ape nk kene kan ak, tapi snce after the DRP Meeting, dia mmg kene kan ak kaw2 punye lah.. ape benda ak buat, semua kene re-schedule balik.. ape benda nk buat semua jadik ak punya action item. takpe.. i take it as a challenge. 

You really want to test me kan???? You really want to see whether i am capable enough to do this job kann?? you really want to make me quit my job kannnn???? we'll see.. I WILL PROVE YOU WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!  huh.. emo di petang hari.. astaghfirullahhh... 

The morning tears

Salam.

Always expect the unexpected.

Currently is sooo moody and down gila. it all started with an e-mail from SKGAdvisor saying that i was not supposed to circulate the e-mail to all fraternity and at the same time cc-ing to the external vendors.

"Dear Azlina,

I do not think it is appropriate that SKG19  is promoting an external course unless we are confident that such courses are well worth it for our staff. The other thing is that if we think strongly of the training (after consultation with the relevant experts), we should do so without copying the mail to the organizers. After this, each of the individuals below will get a bombardment of emails on programs from this organizer.

Please exercise caution in similar promotion for the future.

Regards,

Roseman"

and my boss replied:

"Dear Azlina

Please discuss with me."

Those e-mail were received at 8.45 am. And the best part is, that was the time  I was about to start my day.

Aku pun pegi la jumpa boss, baca Bismillah sebanyak and sesempat yg mungkin masa pergi menapak ke workstation boss. Reason wise: Bismilah ni klu diamalkan dan dibaca sebanyak 40kali di hadapan musuh boleh melembutkan hatinya, insyaAllah.

Then, pegi jumpa, my Boss pun takde la marah sangat, but he gave me some advice je la and kebetulan dia time tu tgh rushing nk pegi meeting kak Hana kat DAYABUMI so jumpa dia kejap je la tadi. 

unexpectedly, masa nk balik ke my cubicle tu, i feel so down and sedih. tears were rolling down my cheeks and i felt so disappointed. Being me is not easy.. i telll youuuu!  maybe sebab, ak baru je nk bangun balik dari my undeniably terrible work attitude and baru je nak nampak macam ak tak delay works sebab semlm vendor tu call, semalam gak ak hantar kat fraternity<-- bukan kah efficient kalau mcm tu???

Tp malangnya.. the things that i expected to return out to be good happened the other way around. ntah la, rimas la tiap kali nk buat benda je kena diskass dulu ngan boss. dah la boss bukan jaga ak sorang je.. ntahh laa.... 

dan itu lah kesahnye the morning tears tu.... duduk kat meja, bukak e-mail terus buat archive e-mail yg melambak2 kat inbox. sambil tu terfikir pulak nk amik EL or MC yg penting taknak duduk kat meja and mengahadap keje. Aigooooooooo.. ya Allahh.. tabahkan lah hati hamba Mu ini..... 

fikir punya fikir, there's no point pun ak nk down lebih, mungkin ni ujian dari Allah untuk ku. Nak tgk whether ak istiqamah ke tak, whether ak betul2 percaya ke tak kat DIA. Ya Allah, ya Mutakabbir... aku terima dugaan Mu hari ni ya Allah, ku berdoa agar ada hikmah disebalik kejadian itu. 

harap2 ak boleh bertahan sampai ke petang.. sharp pkol 5 ----> BALIK! few more hours je lagi lina!! few more hours!! 

ya Allah.. ya Tuhan ku, pada Mu ak bergantung harap, pada Mu ak mengadu. Tabahkan hati ku dalam setiap dugaan Mu ya Allah, ak percaya bahwa Engkau tidak akan menguji hambaMu atas sesuatu yang tak termampu olehnya. semoga dugaan Mu inin menjadikan ak lebih tabah dan cekal dalam mengahadapi ujianMu. 

Amiinnn...

Dengan Nama Allah yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim


Hoorrayy.. this is my very first experience in blogging. After years of diaries writing, only now I've the guts to  change my writing world to a whole new level. And im blogging this from my office in level 44, Twin Tower at the heart of KL. yes baby it's the city of hell..Kuala Lumpur. 

Life has been cruel to me lately. And i believe, its the test for me from HIM. I've been in a seriously unmanageable stress and depression for the past few months. Only Allah knows how does I feel for all the happenings around me. Thank you Allah for giving me this test for I have now become more closer to you than before. 


Ok Lyna.. now that i've a medium to distress myself from all the problems and unhapy-happy things, I promise myself  not to overthink of what Allah has decided for me. 


Back to worrkkkkkk! 


Lyna